A lot of time in between posts this time. It has been a hard month. My wonderful daughter-in-law lost her Mama to Pancreatic Cancer. The evil Cancer has struck our family, yet again. Now her father joins the ranks of Widowhood. He is not happy about it. Both he and my daughter-in-law, and my son are devastated by this loss. So many memories have flooded me at this time. But this was not about me. This was about them. But even in the midst of my sweet daughter-in-law's grief, she thought of my pain. She realized the memories this all stirred for me. I am a truly blessed woman to have such a wonderful woman as my daughter. I assured her I was fine. This was not about me in any way. I told her to concentrate on her Mother, her Father, herself, and other family members who were so stunned by this news. They are reeling from shock.

I discovered that now I can give back, pay it forward, as it were. I am now able to give advise to Marissa's dad and to her. I am grateful that my journey can now help others. I pray that I am able to do that.

I belong to a group on Facebook geared towards those who have lost spouses. Yesterday, in response to another who is struggling so hard with the pain of losing a spouse, I wrote:

It has been three years for me since my husband went home. I can honestly tell you that Father has prepared me for this life I am now living. He guides me daily (if I listen) and tells me that His plan for me is not finished yet. I will have more joy and love in my life again. This is my time to prepare. When you despair, take it to the Lord and pray for the Atonement to be applied to your pains, fears, hopelessness, depression, or whatever other feelings you have that are holding you in the circle of despair. Men are that they might have joy. Get the necessary rest you need to refill your empty wells. This grieving is HARD work. The pain dulls, the memories start to warm your heart instead of tear it to pieces, the hope for that brighter future magnifies. Find your peace in the sure promises of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. This life you have now IS your new normal. Embrace it, learn from and grow in it. It IS possible. God bless each of us in this journey.

I only hope that others are comforted by my words. Does believing in God and Eternal Life take away the pain from losing our other half? No, but it can and does give us hope. This and applying the Atonement of Jesus Christ to all of the feelings associated with this new journey helps us to keep living; to keep moving forward.  There are still so many blessings we have to enjoy.

It takes just breathing at first. Then taking a step. Then another, then another. And never, never stop praying for help with anything we need. Our Father and Savior are always there, ready to carry, to prop up, to push a long, and to help us find joy again.

This I KNOW!! This I BELIEVE!! This I TRUST!!